A bit of Christmas humor emailed from pal Shawn this morning:

Christmas Carols for Disturbed Friends

1.  Schizophrenia – Do I Hear What I Hear?
2.  Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3.  Dementia - I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
4.  Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing about Me
5.  Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and …
6.  Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7.  Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting my nuts on an Open Fire
8.  Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, ‘Cause I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, and I Don’t Know Why
9.  Attention Deficit Disorder - Silent Night, Holy… oooh look at that frog spit, can I have a chocolate, why is Uranus so far away, my eyes itch
10.  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Email Humor Received received from buddy Shawn today - I could so do a least a few of these (#1, #2, #5, #7, #15 without hesitation), if I’m dragged to the fabric store, or when Deb and FD get together in the same store…ohhhhhh the pain of it all…I’m liable to employ any and/or all of these ideas:

WHY WOMEN SHOULDN’T TAKE MEN SHOPPING…or ever leave them alone.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.  Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.  Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Read More…

Gang, I am so sorry for all these YouTubes lately. It seems every one I’m sent or watch lately strikes a funny bone in me. I promise I will return to my sarcastic ways real soon.

This YouTube is on OFNi DaniC’s Facebook wall from OFNi Whitty…I think. It is funny and sad all in the same clip, none the less. Be sure to listen carefully at the 1 minute 10 second mark of the clip – I’ve got a dog just like Simon’s Sister’s :) Read More…

from the Todd-man:

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners.  At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.

Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote ‘Revelation 3:20′ on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned.  Added to it was this cryptic message, ‘Genesis 3:10. Read More…

This is a hoot, but I suspect that minister didn’t appreciate it.

HYMN No.365

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, ‘If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’

With even greater emphasis he said, ‘And if I had All the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, ‘And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’

Sermon complete, he sat down. Read More…