“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.”

I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

Do something every day that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.”

“I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t.”

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.”

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.”

“The humorous story is strictly a work of art – high and delicate – and only an artist can tell it.”

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

“Classic: A book which people praise and don’t read.” Continue reading “Wit and Wisdom”