EHR: Shall we retire?

Email Humor Received (EHR): It is never too early to start thinking about retirement.  Here are some ideas, traits, facts, conditions, requirements, and necessities regarding where to live and what it’s going to take when that time comes.

Please know I not near clever enough to write this – it came in an email and I simply pass it on without authorship expressed or implied. But…it should cause you to smile at least once.

You may live in Phoenix, Arizona where…

  1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
  2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
  3. You can drive for 4  hours in one direction and never leave town.
  4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food
  5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
  6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

Continue reading “EHR: Shall we retire?”

EHR: Europe is on alert

This Email Humor Received (EHR) comes from Larry the Associate from work. He prefaced the email claiming “This humor is right up your alley, Tim! Long live British humor!”. I’m not sure if that is a complement or shot – I choose “complement”. As my FS will attest, we both enjoy our British humor, especially from John Cleese. Thanks Larry! This is too funny.

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE Continue reading “EHR: Europe is on alert”

EHR: Bagpipes at a funeral

Adam forwards this story – EHR (Email Humor Received):

A Homeless Man’s Funeral

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt bad and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

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EHR: The Real story of the three bears

Even though this EHR (Email Humor Received) from OFA Marilyn may be a bit (male) bashful, it is funny!!!

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning:

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. ‘Who’s been eating my porridge?’ he squeaks.

Continue reading “EHR: The Real story of the three bears”

EHR: The New Orleans Saints Super Bowl Drinking Game


Email Humor Received (EHR) from _______ (I’m reserving that  name for now).

Mind you, neither Katrina nor the Haiti earthquake are laughing, to-be-taken-lightly catastrophies…but this game idea is funny. So lighten up, laugh at this and let it be my politically incorrect posting of the day/week/month/year.

This game suggestion reminds me of kegger softball, or the audience experience at the Rocky Horror Picture Show (although I’ve never had the “horror” of watching the show in a theatre).

This is also a classic example of the media ramming their agendas down the viewers throats to the gag point people start making jokes of it all…and speaking of throats, have a beverage of your choice in celebration of a Saints Super Bowl win….

BTW, the picture credit is not mine, but I list it as: SCOTT THRELKELD / THE TIMES-PICAYUNE Cousins Benji Soued, 4, of Boca Raton, FL, left, and Benjamin Soued, 2, of New York play football during a pre-Super Bowl party Sunday, February 7, 2010, at El Palacio Sports Hotel Convention Center. More than 500 Saints fans partied then marched to Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, FL

Continue reading “EHR: The New Orleans Saints Super Bowl Drinking Game”

EHR: Can You Relate?

Email Humor Received from my equally aged-challenged good friend Jayne:

This is a story by David McClure from the Dallas News Community Opinion page.. 
$5.37.   That’s what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me.  I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher.   Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some more change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, “It’s OK. I’ll just give you the senior citizen discount.” Continue reading “EHR: Can You Relate?”

EHR: Christmas Carols for Disturbed Friends

A bit of Christmas humor emailed from pal Shawn this morning: Christmas Carols for Disturbed Friends  Schizophrenia — Do I Hear What I Hear?  Multiple Personality Disorder – We Three Kings Disoriented Are  Dementia – I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas  Narcissistic – Hark the Herald Angels Sing about Me  Manic – Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and …  Paranoid – Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me  Borderline Personality Disorder – Thoughts of Roasting my nuts on an Open Fire  Personality Disorder – You … Continue reading EHR: Christmas Carols for Disturbed Friends

EHR: To be 6 again

From my dear friend and former co-worker Elizabeth, who has a wonderful sense of humor (I need to post more of her EHR on this blog…and not all of them bash men):

To Be 6 Again…

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror . Continue reading “EHR: To be 6 again”

EHR – Women shouldn’t take men shopping

Email Humor Received received from buddy Shawn today – I could so do a least a few of these (#1, #2, #5, #7, #15 without hesitation), if I’m dragged to the fabric store, or when Deb and FD get together in the same store…ohhhhhh the pain of it all…I’m liable to employ any and/or all of these ideas:

WHY WOMEN SHOULDN’T TAKE MEN SHOPPING…or ever leave them alone.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.  Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.  Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Continue reading “EHR – Women shouldn’t take men shopping”