So it is on this day – today – I receive an email from “Runners World” magazine. It starts out saying this:
You’re a runner. Whether you run for your health, to lose weight, or the sheer joy of hitting the road, running is an important part of who you are – and who you want to be. And no one makes it easier to get more out of your passion for running than RUNNER’S WORLD.
Did someone…maybe….perhaps tell them to?
Is someone trying to tell this big ol’ boy something?
Those of you that know my physical attributes and proportions know that I am probably not going to be an avid, loyal customer of the magazine any time soon. For me to run, I would need to sweat a whole lot less and be well into a notable regular and significant exercise routine. Go ahead and eat your ice cream for it will surely melt before any of that happens.
In fact if we were to discount, disregard, and dismiss the present-day waistline girth, even when I was in shape (we’re reaching way back to high school flat belly stuff here folks) I despised “the run”. My attitude is one that OFB Tony did enough of that running exercise stuff in a quantity (and quality) for the both of us (and several others I’m sure) back in high school – and he did it oh-so admirably well I might add. The extent of any running enjoyment I may have jogged ended years ago when my cross-country guru OFB stopped asking me to drive with him (in a car!) 15-20 miles outside of town only to let him out to run back home – oh the sacrifices I made for my in-shape little big brother….
If anyone is interested in the claimed running benefits below, please ask to have the “2 RISK FREE trial issues and 2 FREE gifts” email forwarded. Also, please know if asked, I might give due consideration in being the responsible judge of these benefits if need be (of course that depends a great deal on the “who’s asking” factor). See there…my sacrifices continue:
- Sculpt your butt in record time.
- Get faster without getting injured.
- 5 power foods for runners.
- Stronger, sexier, more powerful legs!
- Prevent muscle cramps before they strike!
- How often should you replace your running shoes
You do realize if you’re in running shoes, one cannot get any kind of service that will not attract the manager’s attention at a fast food drive-up window, right? Can I bring any of you runners a quarter-pounder while I’m at it?
21 
I laughed so hard I cried on this one…thank you Sir Tim!!!!
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I hit McDonald’s every day, and have never ever worn my Mizuno running shoes to said hot spot! Tim … no shame in not having your OFB’s running legs – you and I have football legs! Big, strong, sturdy, right?? :o) bec
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#1
Forrest Gump: “Lieutenant Dan. Ice cream!”
#2
Forrest Gump: [running] “I had run for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours.”
[he stops and turns around]
Young Man Running: “Quiet, quiet! He’s gonna say something!”
Forrest Gump: [pause] “I’m pretty tired… I think I’ll go home now.”
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Dani – and check out more Forrest Gumpisms faves on the “Movie LInes” tab of this here blog. Nice pick up on the rambling
Bec – one of my legs equals two of yours…you’re so kind to say we together have football legs even though that’s a bit of a stretch, ms.bird legs
JaiJai – wipe those tears…there’s no crying in Runners World!
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Just for the record…telling a woman she has “bird legs” is probably not the best way of saying she has skinny legs…just say you have skinny legs and you will be amazed at how much longer your life is… :P
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Ahhhhh, your point is well taken…ahem…OFSIL Bec, you have skinny bird legs. Live long and prosper.
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Well, to correct you both … I do not have skinny legs, I do not have bird legs, and I do not have skinny bird legs. I have fullback-sized legs, legs that do not run but can push! It is what it is and, as Forrest would say, that’s all I got to say about that. :o) bec
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