Category: Humor

Email Humor Received (EHR), Humor1 Comment

EHR – Elderly patron bank letter

Tim May

 

Now this is a prime example of a long-time-ago prior posting of mine, complaining about the general lack of Raving Fan service with today’s entitlement generation. Email Humor Received (EHR) from Shawn, by way of somebody else I’m sure:

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86-year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. Continue reading “EHR – Elderly patron bank letter”

Email Humor Received (EHR), Humor1 Comment

EHR – Man Attributes…a Woman’s Perspective

Tim May

From Shawn:

What I Want In A Man! 

Original List: (age 25)

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer thing
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

  Continue reading “EHR – Man Attributes…a Woman’s Perspective”

Entertainment, Friendship, Fun, History, Humor, Life1 Comment

Oddities of the Day, Week, Month for July

Tim May

Who knew? Today, July 7th is Bonza Bottler Day! We have twelve of those a year…apparently it gives good reason to go out and party with your family and friends. It’s when the day of the month is the same as the month number (today is 07-07). And there’s even a website for this day:  Bonza Bottler Day Website.

Celebrations should be on-going today, this week, and this month. According to my reliable sources, it is:

Continue reading “Oddities of the Day, Week, Month for July”

Entertainment, Family, Humor, Religion3 Comments

Bubba likes Sunday too

Tim May

In my personal (mental) series of “only in Texas” oddities, I have been inclined of late to rename it “ya jus’ gotta love Texas”….

Yesterday at my religion history lesson (a particular church sermon heavily laden with all sorts of old Egypt-Israel-Jordan geographic references) – before, during, and after the service – I noticed several unique characteristics of the congregation. Please know, I have always been one that prefers at least a casual (not even dressy-casual) wardrobe when attending Sunday service, and think everyone should wear the same (OK, call me a bit pretentious).

Continue reading “Bubba likes Sunday too”

Humor, Photos1 Comment

Times must be tough, or getting that way

Tim May

While about town last week, I snapped a few random photos….

I’m still trying to decide if this is the originality of Texans on display, or perhaps an indication of how the lousy economy is catching up with north Texas? It might be a combination of both.

Businesses become more diverse in their services offered
Businesses become more diverse in their services offered (someone must have previously stolen all the capital "I"'s from this sign)

Continue reading “Times must be tough, or getting that way”

Blogs, Family, Humor, Travel1 Comment

On Down the Road(ways)

Tim May

Hey TMay82 Blogsters – when you get a minute, check out FD’s most recent posts from her Philippines trip earlier this year: Urdenata and Manila.  Her adventures can be the envy of the family on occasion.  And her unintentional antics (I think)…well, just watch her “George W. meets the locked door” impression in “Urdenata”…it makes me laugh out loud. Here’s the W “locked door” YouTube refresher just in case you’ve been too Obamulated of late and forgot, then see if you can find FD’s incident: Continue reading On Down the Road(ways)

Family, Humor5 Comments

Got in a partial round at least

Tim May

IMG_9900While back in Kansas for a long weekend, advantage was taken of an infrequent opportunity to golf with Dad and the two FBs. We typically only golf together one Friday per year – at the Ellis County Relay for Life Golf Tournament every June. We need the practice in order to beat Dad’s foursome of grandkids (FD does/has not played…and really doesn’t have a desire to play ever since she ever-so-bravely stood up to a 9-iron thump on the head at an early age, while at a driving range with dear ol’ dad…ruined to golf recreation for her, for life I think). Continue reading “Got in a partial round at least”

Family, Humor, Life, Money2 Comments

College town cribs

Tim May

As I often do, during the lunch hour I roam around town trying to find interesting, odd, or unusual photo opportunities. Those that I’m with, I sometimes (often times) make them stop and tolerate my picture taking. Either way, when working in a town with 2 major universities (accounting for about 40,000 students combined), you will find those opps without too much effort.

dscf2907
Where's the roof?

Today’s venture takes a student housing / architectural look at the town I grow to thoroughly enjoy more each day. Having one of the universities as my client, I was walking back to my off-campus parked car after an on-campus meeting. I looked across the street and asked a simple question to my fellow meeting attendees: “what happened to the roof of that building?”. All I got was a rather odd look of “why would you notice that?”, followed by some chuckling. Continue reading “College town cribs”

Email Humor Received (EHR), Humor1 Comment

EHR – $1000

Tim May

From OFSIL SueM: If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.   But—- if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily … Continue reading EHR – $1000

Humor, Life, Photography, PhotosLeave a comment

One of those days

Tim May

Ever had one of those days, with camera in hand you come upon so many odd photo opps? That was how part of my morning was spent in Little Elm – so much to photograph. All taken within minutes of each other. BYW, the Buffalo and the shored-up building were pictures taken in the soon-to-be wealthy town of Prosper (a few miles up the road from Little Elm)

Hey puppy dawg in the Animal Control vehicle's front seat
Hey puppy dawg in the Animal Control vehicle's front seat

 

Continue reading “One of those days”

Family, Humor, Life2 Comments

Re-visit the Past, Favorites, Ideals, and Wishes

Tim May

Every so often, one should clean out a closet or pantry just for grins. Deb did just that (for grins) to our pantry today but her intent was more for getting rid of expired dry foods and giving a sense of organization to the shelves. She accomplished her goal and came across a “family keeper” crumbled way in the back on the top shelf. Continue reading “Re-visit the Past, Favorites, Ideals, and Wishes”

Email Humor Received (EHR), Humor4 Comments

EHR – Hymn No. 365

Tim May

This is a hoot, but I suspect that minister didn’t appreciate it.

HYMN No.365

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, ‘If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’

With even greater emphasis he said, ‘And if I had All the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, ‘And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’

Sermon complete, he sat down. Continue reading “EHR – Hymn No. 365”

Entertainment, Friendship, Humor, Travel3 Comments

The German town of McGregor

Tim May

img_8290Yup it is. Along with Scottish, Indian, Afro-American, and Hispanic folks populated by the railroad industry. Stopping short of a Texas history lesson of the town and region, let me just say this: we went, we enjoyed, we will go back…and the Bluebonnets are up!

Deb and I ventured to McGregor for a short weekend. Actually, one of Deb’s “Dinner Dames” friend and husband asked us to come visit them and the beautiful new home they are building outside of town. The true intent of our invitation was for Jayne/Rusty to get advice on how to landscape their home.

dscf2386Note to others with similar intentions…I love to dole out landscape advice to friends and family, but please lets have a discussion not an argument if you don’t agree with the free opinion I offer. I’m too old and grouchy to argue with you about my expertise. I look forward to going back to McGregor with the landscape summary of my thunkin’ for Jayne and Rusty.

It was an interesting weekend to say the least. Here’s a abridged version:

Continue reading “The German town of McGregor”

Entertainment, Humor, Life, Sports1 Comment

Cheating the game of golf

Tim May

We’ve all shaved a few strokes, or maybe just didn’t count a few of our duffs, OB’s, whiffs, tee-taps, foot wedges, and shots into Dad’s golf cart cubby hole – I think I’ve written about that already – playing the so-called “gentleman’s game” (no offense intended lady golfers).  This article in today’s Dallas Morning News comparatively pales our minor offenses and is a better example of how cheating in this wonderful game does not make the recreation any more enjoyable. So count those strokes fellow golfers and remember this story of cheating on a golf course…I wonder if these guys will claim a “mulligan” in court? Continue reading “Cheating the game of golf”

Family, Humor, Life1 Comment

I did, and still do remember Feb 20

Tim May

Yesterday marked a milestone in the life of FD. She turned the big 2-9…an age that will now be with her for a couple years at least ( ;) ). img_5163

T is a special person in so many ways. In the family lineage, she is the first born to her Mom and Dad; she is the first grandchild born to her paternal grandparents and the fourth to maternal grandparents; she is the first “girl” on the May side – Grandma was elated if I remember right; she is the first born in our family so she could (or try at least) tell second-born FS what to do and when.

We spent nearly two hours on the phone with her this morning (she appreciated her parent’s duet version of “Happy Birthday” on her voice mail yesterday when she was out and about with friends in the big city…she called it “angelic”…she’s so kind, in a tactful, diplomatic, and funny sort of way). In talking with her, memories of her growing up came to mind. Those only cause a smile, a nose-tingle and color change, a lot of blinking to happen – they are happy, loving tears only a father could have in the privacy of his home office while writing a blog post about a favorite daughter nicknamed so often, but most fittingly, still “Sunshine” and “Sweets”.

Continue reading “I did, and still do remember Feb 20”

Business, Humor, Sports, Television4 Comments

The Super Bowl cometh

Tim May

It’s coming on Sunday. Many watch the event more for the commercials than the football played – remember the Bud-Weis- er frogs?  This year, a 30-second ad will cost $3 million. Even though the economy is on the skids and regular advertisers like a certain overnight delivery courier has elected not to participate this year, good old Miller High Life has pulled off a marketing coup (one humble man’s opinion). They are doing the “one second ad”, saying that’s all they need to “remind viewers that Miller High Life is common sense in a bottle”. Continue reading “The Super Bowl cometh”

Humor3 Comments

I figured there was a name for it

Tim May

But who would have thunk it?

Doing a bit of research for an unusual contest played annually, I came across the incomparable Yogi Berra (real name is Lawrence Peter Berra BTW) and his command of the English language. It can be called…perhaps referred to as…anybody? Malapropism

Instead of the cut and paste, visit a website or two and you’ll get the gesture….

Malapropism-Wikipedia, Eggcorn-Wikipedia, Dogberry-Wkipedia, Spoonerism-Wikipedia

And an example or two….. Continue reading “I figured there was a name for it”

Humor, LifeLeave a comment

Flip Off

Tim May

Local radio personalities Ernie and Jay (KRLD 1080 on the AM dial) have a 12 o’clock noon program call “Flip Off”. It allows callers (listeners) to “vent” any frustrations they have by simply flipping off whomever. Today’s Flip Off had me agreeing and smiling on all of them until the last guy with the GPS gift…then I laughed out loud, in my car, in traffic – I’m sure the drivers around me thought I was bothered to some degree. Any who, listen if you can/want/have the time…but if you start, you’ve got to listen past the same Key Whitman Eye Center commercial … Continue reading Flip Off