Tag: Humor

Animals, For What Its Worth, Humor, nature4 Comments

Next to tornados…

Tim May

…I like snakes best!

Don’t get me wrong here folks. I am a nature-loving man of kind heart, respectful spirit, and all-God’s-creatures compassion…except when it comes to snakes.

Realize, I don’t even do slinky, slimy reptiles at the zoo. I figure we’re both better off without my screaming like a little school girl at them on the other side of the glass.

I don’t know how I got this phobia, but it’s been with me for quite sometime. Maybe it was that time on a Boy Scout weekend campout when I decided to climb this big ol’ Cottonwood tree next to our campsite and along side the creek. I got to that first branch – at least 100′ in the air don’t you know – when I came face-to-face with a King snake coiled up like Kaa the Python from a classic movie of my youth.

Needless to say, I was on the ground pretty darn quick – haven’t been the same since.

Continue reading “Next to tornados…”

Eatery, Entertainment, Family, Food, For What Its Worth, Humor, Photos, Travel3 Comments

Faired Well at the State Fair

Tim May
Big Tex and a mighty fine "Howdy Folks" awaits fair-goers as they arrive each and every year

Sunday…I took a trip to The Great State Fair of Texas!

What a glorious day it was – breezy, upper 80°, and when you’re one of the first to arrive, parking was easy, convenient, and close to the entrance gate!

Each year the State Fair is an intentional destination. I wouldn’t be completely honest if I said my primary reasoning going is for the Auto Show.

I go for the people watching!

I go for the live entertainment on stage (several venues around the fairgrounds)!

I go for free ice cream cone and the give-away bread sampling at the Dairy/Grain Building!

I go to marvel at the wonderful Art Deco buildings scattered about the fairgrounds!

But mostly, I go for the traditional food of the State Fair as well as each year’s must-have foods!

Continue reading “Faired Well at the State Fair”

Email Humor Received (EHR), Humor, LifeLeave a comment

EHR: Shall we retire?

Tim May

Email Humor Received (EHR): It is never too early to start thinking about retirement.  Here are some ideas, traits, facts, conditions, requirements, and necessities regarding where to live and what it’s going to take when that time comes.

Please know I not near clever enough to write this – it came in an email and I simply pass it on without authorship expressed or implied. But…it should cause you to smile at least once.

You may live in Phoenix, Arizona where…

  1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
  2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
  3. You can drive for 4  hours in one direction and never leave town.
  4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food
  5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
  6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

Continue reading “EHR: Shall we retire?”

Friendship, Fun, Photos, Scottie Dogs, TravelLeave a comment

I could live here-there

Tim May

I’m headed back from the left coast! The Royals impatiently await my returned…I think, I hope. They will most likely hop around for a couple minutes performing smile-making antics until they realized “Oops, we’re Scotties”, and go back to their high-brow intolerance of all things human.

Writing this on the flight back to Dallas, I look back and know a grand time was had in San Diego. I had not been to SD since I was a then-chubby kid of barely double digits old. I cannot remember much except “The Zoo”. Bummer! So this time I had my cameras (3 of them) to well-document the trip. This morning we huffed-it around Balboa Park, home of the world famous San Diego Zoo. We had no time to take in the zoo, put the Park was pretty cool.

Continue reading “I could live here-there”

Entertainment, Fun, Humor, Travel2 Comments

Should I be concerned?

Tim May

Lately, I’ve been fortunate to visit both the right and left coasts – all within the last two weeks. And each time…well, the trip has been…let’s just say “eventful” and that’s not because of the purpose of each excursion.

A couple weeks ago I blogged about my travels to Alexandria,VA. That trip started out with a plane navigation problem that resulted in a cooling fan replacement, then an entire computer sensor thingy switcharoo. All was well…after a 90 minute departure delay.

So today I find myself in San Diego.

Continue reading “Should I be concerned?”

Eatery, Entertainment, Food, For What Its Worth, Fun, Humor, Life, Religion1 Comment

OK, here’s my sign

Tim May

As you may have noticed from an earlier-in-the-day post, I stopped at the In N Out Burger in Allen Texas for lunch today. It truly is a treat to indulge in this, a favorite fast food burger place of mine (I’ve been munching on those since the mid-80’s whenever I traveled to California and the opportunity presented itself).

I had the Double-Double (aka as the #1) today. Delicious, right?

Dang right! If I’m eating fast, I love my In N Out Burger burgers!

Continue reading “OK, here’s my sign”

For What Its Worth, Fun, Humor, Money1 Comment

Hot Spotting at Sam’s

Tim May

Many things are good about Sam’s Club. You get a good product at a good price, and the people, at least those at my local Sam’s, are generally accommodating and nice to deal with…considering  Sam’s employees typically have little interaction with customers (besides at the checkout stand). The one shorts-biter thing about Sam’s is you’re gonna spend some bucks to save some bucks. When was the last time you got out of the store for less than $100? Continue reading “Hot Spotting at Sam’s”

Entertainment, For What Its Worth, Fun, History, Humor, Inspiration, LifeLeave a comment

It’s Finally Friday

Tim May
This morning's "celebrate the senses day"....

Woo Hoo! It is Friday!

And a special Friday it is.

Because….don’t you know…it’s…

“Celebration of the Senses Day” where everyone should stop somewhere along today’s journey and watch (see), taste, feel, smell, and listen to somthing…somewhere.

No?

Don’t want to do that?

Then there are these “holidays” to account for today: Continue reading “It’s Finally Friday”

Family, Fun, Humor, Sports1 Comment

Smack down golf

Tim May

OFB TR started it today. There were a few barbs trade via email…creativity was shared without a tee time reservation.

Friday’s golf outing amongst the family should be fun, interesting, and full of…well…lets just saw if history is any indication of what’s in store for the course, I will need to be a designated golf cart driver for the “young’uns” and their run to the liquor store (losers by the beer) will be sobering. Dad and his 3 sons (the old timers 0r “old farts” if you’d rather) versus 4 of his 5 grandkids (the “Young’uns). It is safe to say we talk (and Photoshop) better than we play the game.

Here are the traded smack photos for today. I must say they are kind of funny. The photo-doctoring all started with OFNi Dani’s clever and humorous talent.  Continue reading “Smack down golf”

Family, Friendship, Fun, Humor, Photos, Sports6 Comments

Teed Off and Ready

Tim May

This is the one week of the year that I dust off my golf clubs (more like clear off the cobwebs) and slip into my golf shoes (but check for spider nests in the toes first). Golf is played twice in one week’s time: Monday in Texas, Friday in Kansas (both charity fundraisers BTW). I play twice a year, and both those tee times are in the same week.

This is the week I also seek counsel from my clergy friends to help me through the next five days.  My possessed golf clubs, when used infrequently, have a way of controlling a meek personality, any kind of recreational fun, and testing one’s conviction to the 3rd commandment. Maybe if I listen to gospel music on the iPod while attempting to play this silly game might help….hmmmm

Continue reading “Teed Off and Ready”

Animals, Entertainment, Fun, Life, nature, Photography, PhotosLeave a comment

Take a Hike

Tim May
The paved half of the trail at Willow Grove Park (Lake Dallas Texas)

Hey y’all! Today is National Trails Day…can you believe it? Have you gone out and hiked or biked a trail yet?

Well I did. This morning I hip-wiggled into my flattering padded tush biking shorts, pumped up the tires and took off for a 6-mile ride on a City trail along the lake edge.

It will never cease to amaze me the things you can see and hear when you’re not motoring. I will always appreciate the natural stuff and truly let its grasp take hold of me. That is until I happen upon a snake (or vice versa).

If that were to happen (a snake and me encounter), well…I’m either going to pity the snake for the panicked wild man wrath about to be unleashed upon it…after the fact, or if someone is with me heaven forbid they get in my way during a hasty, Katy-bar-the-door, asses-n-elbows, Monty Python “run away” retreat. Did I ever mention when confronted by a snake, the kind of snake makes no difference, this blogger can run a whole lot faster than he can bicycle? “Drop the bicycle and RUUUUUNNNNNN!”

But there were no snakes seen today (and you thought you were gonna get a Tim-got-scared snake story didn’t ya? HA!).

Continue reading “Take a Hike”

Entertainment, Fun, Humor, Photography, Photos, Picture of the WeekLeave a comment

POW: 6-3-2011

Tim May

Pictures for the Week

4/9/2011: at a stop light somewhere (maybe it was Grapevine)

I must admit it does bother me some that a preachy window sticker like this one is prominently displayed in the back window of this guy’s car. Maybe it was a disgruntled mood moment for me: we were both at a standstill in our cars during rush hour traffic that was going nowhere when I saw this….

Continue reading “POW: 6-3-2011”

Email Humor Received (EHR), Humor1 Comment

EHR: Europe is on alert

Tim May

This Email Humor Received (EHR) comes from Larry the Associate from work. He prefaced the email claiming “This humor is right up your alley, Tim! Long live British humor!”. I’m not sure if that is a complement or shot – I choose “complement”. As my FS will attest, we both enjoy our British humor, especially from John Cleese. Thanks Larry! This is too funny.

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2011 EUROPE : BY JOHN CLEESE Continue reading “EHR: Europe is on alert”

Fun, History, politics, Self-help2 Comments

Well I would…one day.

Tim May

Got this question from a Disneyland commercial this evening: “What would you do if you had one more day?”.

So like I usually do, I twist the question a bit, take it out of context (maybe not so much), think about all that is carried in my bucket, and re-ask the question without any thought of Disneyland. This question is intended to stir the deep, soul-reaching responses you have with good friends or close family (more times than not when an adult beverage has influenced your boldness and confidence, among other things). So what would you say (do) if the question was posed to you? Gut-check!

Continue reading “Well I would…one day.”