Yes it’s true…

…the Eagles have a Vick.

Please excuse my amateur attempt of humor in varying a line from Ghostbusters, but it is the professional National Football League, aka NFL – Nuts, Felones, and Lifers, that gives us the most humorless story of the week.

One of my favorite radio talk shows is a local duo – Ernie and Jay. Friday, they devoted much of their midday talk show to the NFL, Philadelphia Eagles, and Michael Vick.  Hey! How did he get out of jail, being a felone and all, long before the Jackson family decides to bury Micheal (and what’s up with that?)?

Radio callers and the two hosts had conversations that centered around the stupidity of all this, the morality of the NFL, second chances, and the right to play. Here’s my take: Vick is one fortunate clueless dude, the Eagles are lamely stupid and should consider changing their team name to the “Beagles” to honor Mikey’s signing, the League administration are a bunch of eunuchs, the NFL has morals and right-and-wrong standards comparable to that of a public toilet without toilet paper, second chances are just publicity stunts to bring money into the league, and his right to play (again) equals my right to not watch. Give me college football any day – can colleges please start playing on Saturday and Sunday?

Jay proclaimed on the radio that the national recession was final over. What great news, thanks Jay! He stated that when a felone can become gainfully employed so quickly once out of prison, hired at a meager $1.6 million a year with incentives and a chance to make $5.2 million next year (if he’s a good boy on and off the field), then the recession has to be over. I was sure hoping this recession would end soon…. 

Vick has said he’s sorry repeatedly. Well, I can’t argue that…you are one sorry person. You’re a sorry guy in getting a second chance when your dogs didn’t. You’re a sorry guy in caring nothing about the mess you made in and for the Atlanta Falcons. You’re a sorry guy thinking little of the shameful wake you left for friends, family, and Virginia Tech football to endure. You’re a sorry guy in playing for a now sorry Philadelphia Beagles team that care less about an image than they do about a filled stadium seat. You’re a sorry guy belonging to a sorry NFL organization that is letting you play again and particularly if they take you up on your offer to become the “best ambassador to the NFL and community” (give me a break).

You would look even more sorry (appropriate, yes) if a condition of your felony probation were to wear an invisible fence type shock collar – it would look great with your fancy press conference suit Mikey and brutalized dogs everywhere would howl.  Don’t give me remorse of your actions in your press conference speeches Mikey, show me redemption from the evil in your life and actions. Then maybe, just maybe I will I can stomach to watch you play football again.

Thanks NFL. Thanks Philadelphia Beagles. Thanks coaches, players, and fans that say a second chance is a right of convicted felone Mikey. The image you’ve created; the message you’re promoting to the youth (whether they play sports or not) of America is “breaking the law has its rewards”.

Mikey digusts me, as does the Beagles and the NFL. But on a postive snap of the football, our recession is over! Everyone, send in your employment applications…the NFL and the Philadelphia Beagles are hiring without background checks. (you might want to wear a grey pin stripe suit to your interview for good luck)

Oh wait…one more shout-out thank you to Jerry Jones for not signing Mikey to play at your new Felony Field at Peneteniary Park in Arlington, this year.

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