CAUTION: those with a weak stomach may not want to open this post – take my word for it. You’d have to “open” the post to see for yourself and by then you might lose your meal.

Remember a few weeks ago I posted that my tennis elbow-ment got checked out? You know, the doctor had me diagnosed in 1 minute and had the surgery papers ready to sign in the next minute…and I told him I need alternatives and he got offended with me. Ah yeah! OK…

Well I never went back to him, instead opting for an “alternative” I found on my own. 

I met a husband-wife team of massage therapists last week at a Chamber of Commerce function. He asked what was wrong with my arm as I unconsciously grimmaced (so he told me) whenever I shook a networking hand. I told him about Dr. Cut-Away and asked if he could do anything for me. “Yup, come see me” is all he said.

I liked this guy from the get-go. I learned he used to be a professional jockey and part of his practice now is doing equine massage. With that in mind and knowing my girth being that close to a Clydesdale’s, I knew he could certainly take on the likes of a guy my size without much hesitation (at least I hoped so…he’s 5′ tall with hands like steel).

So today I went to see Tony & Renee (the therapists). I walked in with an aching shoulder, elbow, top of hand, fingers, and a lousy grip and wussy way of lifting my morning cup of coffee. I left with a bunch of soreness, but with a flexibility and function of my right arm that I have not enjoyed for a quite some time (no, he wouldn’t cut it off even if I asked him too).

I mentioned my sciatic nerve and leg numbness…and he rolled me over and went right to work on that as well. Geez, I felt like I got “the works” at the drive-thru car wash, leaving all spitted and polished, and looking…well, you be the judge.

It was an hour’s worth of great therapy – the best I’ve ever had in fact. Tony not only worked me over, across my chest and down both arms as well as from the top of my back to the top of my cheeky-monkeys, he also introduced me the ancient Chinese concentration technique of Qidong (‘chee-dung’) and “cupping”.

For years I’ve done a self-taught, amateur technique of relaxation and concentration I call “Tim-dung”…it hasn’t worked out so well, in fact it kind of stinks.

And as for the ‘cupping’…well it’s been a long, long, long time since the results of some”thing” sucking on my skin has given me temporary tattoos.

“Cupping” is what it says: a cup put on the skin over a pressure point and the air in the cup is then sucked out. Left in place for a minute or so, it leaves a perfectly round hickey and you feeling pretty good as the stress oozes from the muscles (and you get vivid youthful memories of drive-ins and back seats for some reason).

I’m going back next week for another round of Qidong and cupping. I feel great and what Tony does to my body appearance can’t make me look any worse than I already do. This guy knows what he’s doing! I’m still a little perplexed about all this from-the-waist-up-work for just a sore (no longer) elbow.

BTW, I promise no more skin photos y’all…don’t know what got into me to show you these. Yuck and sorry :)